Thursday 16 February 2012

Creature of Love / Creature of Sex

Think about it. I mean, really. Sex. Love. Paradise. Think about it some more. Sex and love are intertwined amongst the vines of your life, know it or not. Whether you accept it or not. Maybe you welcome them, embrace them, or just acknowledge their existence around you, inside you. Maybe you run from them, making them far greater in your life than you know. You are running, hiding, failing to escape, accomplishing nothing. They two are love and sex, different, the same, both part and parcel. Grab hold, absorb both.

We are all animals. We all have basic needs, we all need attention, love too, of course, but we need to see the simple physical attraction to us of others, and it is far from unnatural to act on it. Like all other animals we need this, to procreate, to survive, to pass the time, to tick the carnal boxes, settings of our mentalities. Unlike other animals we have a greater intelligence to understand and play with love, to explore it, though I doubt we will ever own the key of true comprehension of something so endlessly colossal. We are said to be the supreme race on earth, of all creatures, yet quite how this is assessed, given WE proclaimed this of our own self, and I can never truly trust anyone so bent on their own reflection, I will never know. Alas, it is a seemingly endless topic, to discuss in groups, with a couple, alone, in our very own boxes, and how do we act, toward the opposite sex, or the same gender if we are not heterosexual, how do we come across? What do we seek? We all proclaim to seek our own happiness, and many do this at the cost of others, but if nobody really seems to know how to get there and what would realistically generate that emotion - though I believe it doesn't actually exist, it is merely a state that we subscribe to and use as an excuse for actions and thoughts where really we have no idea why we exist or move along the timeline as we do - how can we ever know happiness?

I believe in tenderness but also in the inner animal. I believe in love and sex and communicating what you desire clearly. This way everybody understand what you really want, what you feel, where you are headed in your days, nobody is helpless, lost, unaware of your heart. I wrap you up and take you with me. I abandon you but take you with me. Love is unfathomable. I say it and I say it again, but we hold it and embrace it, at times having no idea, mostly, having no idea.

Hold me, never let me go, but let me go. I am a creature. I search for something, for you, for everything, for an other path. Another path awaits.

I lay you down, uncover you whole. Open up, at doors and windows. Let the light inside. Take me to bed, think not of tomorrow. She doesn't exist. She is a dream.

I am listening to Anais Mitchell. I hold all the love in the world. All the love I have ever known. I never met her, only even wrapped myself up in her a few weeks ago. For the first time. She is in my life. My days, my heart, my head, my thoughts. Swimming there. Just swimming. She knows not. I love her. She is mine. All mine. I own her. She may never know. That is okay. Love, life, what we make it. It is all what we make it. I move, you follow, I go alone, we break, and get lost. We return, find our ways back. Always with love.

There may be several parts to this blog. To the title of today's entry. Several million. How could this theme ever be covered? What have I started? 'Oh' and 'dear!'

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