These Two Women

The punishing rain is over. It has finally stopped and been swept away to a land afar. It nearly washed me away in the gutter. I almost folded. My body feels the aftershock. I can't wait to return. Always wanting to return, always coming back from something. The edge of some great drop.

Regarding the weather the snow outside was diminishing. I saw from my window, felt the cold attack my bones, immediately breaking its way through my clothes for the brief moment I had to stray from my flat and I was not in the least bit curious for more. I wanted to stay in and rest, build my strength up again. I needed it.

There is these two women. I love them both. With one I have a great history, both in time elapsed and in experience. The other is brand new, she has just been born to me. I know her less, but she seems to be real, not so much of my dreams. Who can know? I never really can. They are both, quite simply extraordinary women. It isn't hard to feel something for someone, it is much harder to come through for them though, and maybe the journey is everything, the result is nothing. I am meaningless, as are you, until given some form of perspective. To love someone is not hard, or at least some small part of them revealed in a short space of time, even after just a series of minutes, but to conquer love over time is a much greater task.

These creatures live together here in the city I own. Life gets ever more confusing but how hard can it be really? We have feelings, we display them, we support each other, we move forwards, we lose some folk, we find others and we all head towards the final door and it feels like a race and nobody will win. Even just to write that down is completely exhilarating. They share a flat. They both fill me with magic, in different ways, at different times, and if they knew that love can survive and that nobody really leaves if we want them not to, then the whole story would flow like a gentle stream, into the night.

Anyhow, these two women and I have had a few tricky days. These things are sent to try us, to mold us, to build us and make our shells more resistant to the hand the adult world deals us in what is clearly some kind of game of poker. The reason I love kids so much is they haven't been diluted by the floods of evil most adults have succumbed to, been washed away by. These women are both young and beautiful. They both possess great warmth. The road ahead for each is long and exciting. There are so many things to learn and an ocean of life to live, and I can see weaknesses and strengths and reasons for caring for each, an abundance in fact.

If things were easy here then they wouldn't send me the message of containing such value. The women involved are both in my life, at this time, in this place and what more can be done about that now? I wouldn't change anything in my life in recent times, or even at any time in my life. I can see it all, why it happened, how it moved me forward and made me do what I do in the way that I do. I can see the wonder of it all. Like beacons of light, hope raining down on us.

I don't need to pick, both are special. I don't need to hurry, everything can wait. If I die tomorrow I knew I did it right. If I love for the time apart, from all angles, then maybe it can be felt, maybe, just maybe. I wanted to get everything right, but I just didn't quite have the tools, so forgive me my errors and let me grow too, and turn into a flower that might be just what everyone would want to look upon, in the end.

For love, for friendship, for the battles, for the belief and hope in special souls, for everything you hold dear, and for patience, I give myself to you.